Parenting is a tough job. When we accept a child into our lives, we accept a profound commitment to them.
Children in charge create chaos. They do not have enough experience to be in charge and actually become fearful when allowed too much control. On the other hand, over-controlling parents beget controlling children, so achieving a balance is the art of parenting.
Speaking with one voice is imperative. The answer to a child’s question “Is it OK if I . . .?” is “Let me check with [spouse], and we will get back to you.” Instant answers not required as much as UNITED answers. A child will manipulate only as much as the parents allow. Unfortunately, the more the child manipulates successfully, the greater the danger for the marital relationship . . . and the worse it is for the child.
Give me a call if you need some help with this beautiful and terrifying job of parenting.