Parenting is a tough job. When we accept a child into our lives, we accept a profound commitment to them.
Children look to their parents for:
- strong positive messages about belonging
- opportunities for achievement to help build self-esteem
- tools for safely exploring the world
- models of self-reliance and self-discipline ( sometimes no fun!)
- learning the difference between popularity and character
Parent-directed activities provide learning moments:
- Chores that teach responsibility
- The difference between being a guest and being family
- How to deal with chaos and emergencies
- The balance between freedom and control
- The united family at work and play
Freebie for the day:
Children in charge create chaos. They do not have enough experience to be in charge and actually become fearful when allowed too much control. On the other hand, over-controlling parents beget controlling children, so achieving a balance is the art of parenting.
Speaking with one voice is imperative. The answer to a child’s question “Is it OK if I . . .?” is “Let me check with [spouse], and we will get back to you.” Instant answers not required as much as UNITED answers. A child will manipulate only as much as the parents allow. Unfortunately, the more the child manipulates successfully, the greater the danger for the marital relationship . . . and the worse it is for the child.
Give me a call if you need some help with this beautiful and terrifying job of parenting.